Attitudes

Attitudes are the more stable stances we take towards ourselves, other people and life situations. They are not passing emotions, but they shape how emotions are interpreted and what we then do with them. An emotion may drive us towards an immediate response, but a change in attitude is a more deliberate commitment to approach future situations differently. A hopeful, responsible or morally grounded attitude will guide emotional life very differently from a cynical, helpless or self-deceiving one. For that reason it is easier to understand internal processing in the light of attitudes: how we work on emotion is often governed by the stance we already take towards ourselves, other people and the world.

E1 Preserving a positive self worth

The goal of establishing self-worth belongs earlier in the framework under Intrinsic Goals. The attitude here is slightly different. Preserving a positive self-worth means not allowing failures, losses or criticism to define who we are as people. It is not vanity and it does not require feeling superior to anyone else. Rather, it is the stance that setbacks matter without undermining one’s sense of self. For example, a student may feel disappointed by poor exam results yet still recognise that one poor performance does not make her worthless as a person.

E2 Humility

Humility is the attitude that success, status or praise should not be allowed to distort who we are. It keeps a person grounded despite office, recognition or achievement. In political life this matters because public visibility can easily invite vanity, grandiosity or emotional insulation from ordinary people. A humble politician may hold high office and still remain teachable, open to correction and aware that office is a responsibility rather than proof of personal superiority.

E3 Utilising emotions

To utilise emotions is to treat feelings not merely as states to be endured, but as information and energy that can be used well. Anxiety can sharpen preparation, anger can energise the defence of what matters, compassion can move us to help, and sadness can deepen reflection. The skill lies in drawing on the emotion without becoming captive to it. In political life, for example, a leader may feel rising public anxiety about a difficult issue and use that unease to prepare more carefully, communicate more honestly and avoid glib reassurance, rather than merely trying to suppress or exploit the feeling.

E4 Straightforwardness/authenticity

Authenticity is the disposition to be genuine and reasonably transparent rather than false, manipulative or chronically masked. A straightforward person does not say everything they feel, but what they do say is broadly congruent with what they mean. This builds trust, because other people are less likely to feel managed or deceived. In political life, authenticity also means resisting the temptation to make impossible promises. A better attitude is to speak in terms of aspirations, honest limits and what can realistically be attempted, rather than offering promises that are emotionally attractive but unlikely to be kept.

E5 Self-confidence

Self-confidence is the belief that one can think, decide and act with sufficient competence for the situation at hand. Unlike self-esteem, which concerns worth, self-confidence concerns efficacy. It allows the person to move forward without needing complete certainty or universal approval. In political life, the public also need to distinguish genuine confidence from false confidence that is sustained mainly by image, performance or emotional bravado. A leader may sound assured without being grounded, and confidence that is not authentic can be more dangerous than visible uncertainty.

E6 Optimism

Optimism is the attitude that difficulties may be worked through and that worthwhile possibilities remain, even when present circumstances are hard. It is not fantasy or denial of danger, but a refusal to assume that setback is the final word. In politics, both leaders and citizens need to distinguish healthy optimism from false optimism. False optimism offers confidence without adequate grounding, tells people what they want to hear, and may slide into emotional reassurance without realism. Healthy optimism remains hopeful while still facing limits, risks and inconvenient truths.

E7 Goal/achievement oriented

This attitude is the tendency to direct oneself towards worthwhile aims and to value progress, effort and competence. It gives structure to emotion because feelings and energies are gathered around what one is trying to accomplish. Without some orientation towards achievement, motivation may remain diffuse. In political life, this is healthier when the orientation is towards substantive public improvement rather than mere office, attention or symbolic victory. The question is not simply whether a politician wants to win, but what the winning is for.

E8 Incremental successes

Valuing incremental success means appreciating that important change often occurs step by step rather than in one dramatic leap. This attitude is emotionally protective because people easily become demoralised when they expect instant transformation. Recognising smaller gains builds confidence and momentum. For example, a person trying to recover from burnout may initially celebrate merely leaving work on time twice in one week, sleeping better for several nights, or managing one difficult conversation calmly. These small gains are not trivial; they are evidence that a healthier direction is being established.

E9 Taking responsibility for own actions

To take responsibility for one’s actions is to recognise that although circumstances influence us, we remain accountable for what we ourselves choose to do. This attitude is essential to maturity because without it people remain trapped in blame, excuse or helplessness. Blaming others is emotionally poor. It is often antagonistic, creates division, and usually leads the other person to defend themselves rather than listen. Once that happens, communication becomes more difficult and the possibility of repair is reduced. Blame also blocks learning, because the person no longer has to face what they themselves did and how it might be done differently next time. A non-political example would be a man who spoke harshly to a colleague after a difficult morning. He may explain that he was stressed, but he does not use stress as a justification. He acknowledges that he chose to speak as he did, apologises, and resolves to manage the next difficult morning differently.
In political life, repeated blame-shifting should be treated as a warning sign. For example, a politician might blame illegal immigrants for a supposed crime spree, using accusation to deflect attention and stir grievance. Another politician looks at the evidence and finds that most immigrants are legal and that crime rates among both legal and illegal immigrants are lower than among the indigenous population. The second response is more emotionally responsible because it resists scapegoating and takes reality seriously.

E10 Looking after ourselves but not at the expense of others

Healthy emotional life requires self-care, but self-care becomes corrupted when it disregards the legitimate welfare of other people. This attitude therefore holds together two truths: that we must look after ourselves, and that our wellbeing should not be built on the harm or neglect of others. The issue here is greed, or what the English phrase captures as not robbing Peter to pay Paul. For example, a manager may improve his own comfort or position by pushing unreasonable burdens onto colleagues who are less able to resist. The emotionally healthier attitude refuses to secure one person’s wellbeing by quietly transferring the cost onto somebody else.

E11 Respecting the needs of others without undermining own needs

This attitude means recognising that other people’s needs matter, but not if they automatically outrank our own. Respect for others is not servility, and self-respect is not selfishness. Emotional health often depends on sustaining both simultaneously This is also one of the democratic values I wish to emphasise. The practical skill often includes being able to say no while still taking some responsibility for the consequences where appropriate. For example, an employee understands that a colleague needs help with a deadline but also knows that taking on the whole task will jeopardise his own important work. He therefore says no to taking it all on but helps make other arrangements so the colleague is not simply left to collapse without support.

E12 Believing our own senses above what others tell us

This attitude concerns trust in one’s own direct perception and judgement, especially when external voices attempt to redefine what one has plainly experienced. People are generally accurate enough in their direct experience for this to matter. It does not mean being closed to correction, but it does mean that another person’s assertion should not automatically overrule one’s own honest observation. This is particularly important because it protects against gaslighting.
For example, after a meeting a woman comes away feeling that a senior colleague was clearly undermining her in front of others. If that colleague later says she is imagining things, she may still reflect carefully, but she need not abandon her own perception simply because it is inconvenient to him.
In public life, for example, a politician may say that inflation is under control, yet the ordinary consumer still sees prices continuing to rise. The citizen should not be required to abandon direct experience merely because an authority offers a more convenient account.

E13 Have a value system and a moral framework

A value system and moral framework provide the standards by which emotional life is steered. Without them, strong feeling may still be managed skillfully but used in selfish or harmful ways. Values help the person decide not merely what is effective, but what is right. In political life this matters profoundly, because emotional skill without moral framework can easily become manipulation, performance or tactical image-management. A politician with a sound moral framework may still make mistakes, but there remains some inner standard by which ambition, fear, loyalty and expediency are judged rather than simply indulged.